zorb: (Bitches - SG)
zorb ([personal profile] zorb) wrote2006-09-05 11:12 am

Fic - SG-1 - The Trouble With...

Title: The Trouble with…
Rating/Warning: PG-13
Characters: Sam, supported by the S1-7 team
Spoilers: None, but takes place in S1 or 2
Disclaimer: None of the characters, species, or plot devices within this fic belong to me and I am making no money off of repurposing them to suit my needs.
Summary:  SG-1 encounters flying, vampiric tribbles.  What?
Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] heidiweidel in the [livejournal.com profile] samcarterficathon, on the following request: Sam leading SG1 (or another team); the rest of SG1 (Jack, Daniel, Teal'c) is present; an interesting, non-humanoid alien or alien influence.  Originally posted here.

It was P2X-547 that first gave Sam the notion that a more extended sweep of the area surrounding the stargate might be in order for unexplored planets.  The creatures scattered around the valley before them were certainly not in those initial scans, and though small and only faintly pulsing, their round shape and fur-like covering reminded Sam an awful lot of…

“Tribbles, sir.”

The colonel’s eyebrows shot up.  Daniel blinked.  Teal’c cocked his head, then smiled.

“Come again, Carter?”

“Er, well, they’re probably not actually tribbles, just something that reminded me of them on first glance.”


“Sorry, sir.  Tribbles are an alien creature from, uh, Star Trek,” she answered, eyes darting away at the last bit.  It wasn’t her fault that Mark had been obsessed with the show.

“Carter, you know how I feel about science fiction.”

Before she could muster a sufficiently appeasing answer, Daniel let loose a huge, vocal sneeze next to her.  She stepped away pointedly.

“Sorry,” he said, pulling a bag of tissues and pill bottles from his vest. “Must be dander.  Or the temperature.”  He fumbled for his canteen as the colonel rolled his eyes.

“So what do we know about these kibbles?” he asked.

“Unfortunately, sir, I don’t think we can apply the rules of a fictional Earth television show to a real alien species.”

“And why not?”

“Because the Star Trek tribbles mostly just sat around and reproduced.  And these ones –”

“They are moving,” interjected Teal’c, raising his weapon in what passed for alarm with him.

The aliens were indeed creeping forward, ever so slowly but steadily.  SG-1 backed into a defensive cluster, hands going to their holsters – except for Daniel.

“Whoa, hold on a minute, let’s not jump to any conclusions.  They might just be curious about us; try not to look threatening, all right?”

While normally open to Daniel’s diplomatic suggestions, the way the sort-of-but-not-really-tribbles were silently moving forward – she couldn’t tell how with all the fur – raised goosebumps on her arms.  Sam figured her weapon should stay right where it was.

Plus, their numbers were growing. 

Seemingly oblivious to the threat of furry death, Daniel crouched down, spreading his hands out.  “Hello.  I’m Daniel Jackson.  My friends and I are peaceful explorers from the planet Earth.  We come seeking-”

The creatures cut him off with a rattling hiss, and Daniel jumped back. 

“I don’t think they understood you,” remarked the colonel.

Daniel mumbled something about the difficulties of establishing communication with no common frame of reference as the hissing grew louder.  Isolated aliens within what Sam now had to term a pack were quivering, like bubbles in a pot of water on the verge of boiling. 

“That’s it, we’re out of here,” said the colonel.  “Fall back to the gate.” 

No sooner did they begin to move, however, than one of the trembling aliens shot out from its place in the pile and attached itself to O’Neill’s neck.  He cried out and whacked the creature hard enough to send it falling back into the now universally shaking pack.  “Run!”

SG-1 didn’t need to be told twice as they turned tail and headed for the gate.  The task was easier ordered than done, however, as more of the creatures had amassed along their previously barren trail, all hissing and shaking as one, though none flying at them.  Sam crossed her fingers as she ran that their luck would last until they got to the-

“Oof!” she grunted as she bounced off an unmoving Teal’c.  That he didn’t turn to see if she was all right should’ve been her first clue.  Daniel and the colonel’s faces as they pulled up alongside her were the second.

The stargate platform and DHD were buried in a pile of alien fuzzballs. 

“Crap,” said their fearless leader, but when Sam looked to him for the next order, she did a double take.  The expression on her face must’ve prompted him.  “Problem, Carter?  Besides the obvious.”

“Sir, you’ve got some marks on your neck.  They look like…”

“What?”  He slapped at himself wildly.

“A vampire bite,” finished Daniel.

That hadn’t been what Sam was going to say, but she couldn’t deny the accuracy.  Meanwhile, Colonel O’Neill’s eyes widened and he barked, “What?” still seeking the puncture wound with his fingers.

Teal’c raised his zat and pointed it at the creatures.

“Wait!” She held out a hand to him.  “We don’t want to damage the DHD.”  She glanced around the terrain and pointed to their right.  “Sir, I think we should climb that hill.”

“Over the rocks?” asked Daniel.

She nodded.  “I’m not sure how they’re locomoting, but I don’t see any of them in that direction, and I can’t imagine they’d have an easy time getting up there.  We can wait it out there.”

“Fine, go!” snarled the colonel, and SG-1 took off.

Sure enough, the rocky hill was free of aliens, as well as host to slabs of granite-like stone that propped against one another so as to create a semi-covered cave.  Accumulated grit at the joining points assured Sam of its stability, at least for now, and they crawled out of what she hoped was the creatures’ direct line of sight.  The makeshift cave felt slightly warmer than the wind-chilled air outside.

“O’Neill, are you not well?”  Teal’c’s voice drew her attention to the colonel, whose skin around the wound had taken on a greenish cast while his face was pale and sweat-drenched where he was seated against the wall.

“Just…peachy,” he rasped in reply before tipping sideways into Teal’c.  Sam went for her first-aid kit while Daniel pulled out his water again.

“Jack, come on, you need to drink this,” he pleaded, struggling to hold Jack’s head and the canteen while Teal’c forced him upright.  “He’s warm,” Daniel said, glancing over at her.

To his credit, the colonel made an attempt at swallowing.  When Daniel eased back, he coughed and fixed Sam with his commander’s look.  “Carter,” he managed in a weakening voice, “take com-”  And with that, his eyes rolled back and he slumped over.

“Jack!”  No response.  Daniel sighed and bundled his jacket for a pillow as Teal’c set the unconscious colonel down.  “Anything you can do?” Daniel asked her.

Sam hesitated, antivenin syringe in hand.  “I don’t know if this’ll help at all.  It might even hurt.”

“It seems we have little choice,” said Teal’c.

The green had spread.  “Worth a shot,” she muttered.  No pun intended.  Oh god, she was cracking up.  Fortunately, with her back to her teammates, they missed her completely inappropriate and probably deranged smile.

The shot had no visible effect on the colonel, but she cleaned and dressed the wound anyway while Teal’c checked the shelter entrance.  “The beings are still thick in the gate area, though they do not seem to have grown in numbers.”

“That’s good, I think,” Sam said, replacing her supplies.  When she looked up, she found both Daniel and Teal’c watching her expectantly.  What?  Oh, right.  Command.

Not that she had any clue what they should do.

Come on, Carter. Think logically.

She could do that.

“Okay,” she started, sitting back against the wall, “option one: we wait.  They might go away.”

“Might,” said Daniel.

She nodded.  “I know, and we don’t know how long it’d take, either.”

“O’Neill may not have much time,” added Teal’c.

“Right.  So option one isn’t much of an option.”  She sighed.

“Could we not use projectile weapons?”

“Like grenades?” Sam pictured the concussive force of an explosive propelling furry vampires outward – and back at them.  “I think that might cause more trouble for us than it’s worth.”

Teal’c hoisted the colonel’s MP5 in response.

Oh.  “All right, option two: go in shooting, get out as quickly as possible.”

“Ah, wait a minute,” Daniel broke in.  “We don’t know for certain that their intentions are hostile.”

There was a pause.

“No, seriously.  We might have inadvertently done something threatening, trespassed, I don’t know, but I think communication is worth another try.”

Teal’c looked about as confident in that solution as Sam felt, but she couldn’t eliminate the possibility.  “Option three: communication.”

Unfortunately, as unappealing as that option was, the first two didn’t look much better.

Sam groaned.  “The thing is, tribbles never really made sense.”

“How’s that?”  It was a sign of the team’s integration that Daniel didn’t question her non sequitur.

“How does a population that does nothing but eat and reproduce not get out of control?  They handwaved it by claiming a natural predator, but with no defense mechanism, the tribbles would’ve been easy prey and wiped out before they could really get going.”

“What was the predator?”

Sam replied, “A reptile,” while Teal’c said, “Klingons.”

Daniel stared at them. 

Sam continued, “But Daniel, those tribbles were fictional.  These ones are very real.”  She stole a glance at O’Neill, who at least didn’t look any greener than before.

Daniel followed her gaze.  “And they certainly appear to have a defense mechanism.”

…defense mechanism.

“But what do they need to defend themselves from?” she muttered.


She was halfway to the shelter entrance.  “I’ll be right back.” 

At the opening, she first looked down at the stargate, where the aliens still congregated.  They didn’t seem to have increased in numbers.  Score one for her theory.

Poking her head out into the outside chill didn’t cause any group reaction, either.  Sam took a chance and slid slowly out of the boulder’s protection until she could see more of her surroundings.  The rocky hill in which they hid was composed of large rocks, and now that she had time to look, she could see that their shelter wasn’t the only one of its kind.  There was no further movement among the rocks, however…

…except right at the bottom of the hill, where a lone alien was hopping in fits and starts up the rocks.  If she didn’t know what the creatures could do, Sam might have found it cute; the alien would shake for a few seconds and then pop forward a short distance, sometimes landing in a stable place, but more often hitting an edge and falling back.  She speculated that either the amount of preparation or the individual’s age had to do with its jumps being far shorter than those of the one that had attacked her CO.

Chittering distracted her attention from the hopper, and Sam looked up to find the pile of aliens shaking once again.  She tensed, prepared to dart back inside the cave, when a shadow passed over the crowd.  Sam tracked the shadow upward, and –

“Whoa,” she said softly.

A different alien flew in circles overhead.  Not enormous, but certainly larger than the pseudo-tribbles, it was reptilian, with a long snout and iridescent wings.

First tribbles, now dragons.  Was this a recon mission or a drunken role-player’s wet dream? 

It didn’t matter, because Sam soon discovered the reason ground-dwellers would have to be able to leap so high in the air.  As the – fine, dragon – dove, a half dozen of the smaller aliens shot up from the pile, either bouncing off or attaching their teeth (or whatever) to the predator.  More followed, with most falling, but a few hanging on for as long as the angle remained friendly. 

Sam couldn’t tell who was winning.  She stole a glance back at the lone hopper to see how it was reacting – just in time to see another dragon dart out of the rock cavern closest to it, snatch the creature between its teeth, and slither back inside the rocks with the rest of the pack none the wiser.  As if on cue, the flying dragon twisted in mid-air, dropping its clingers-on before spiraling back around the hill and out of sight.

Oh, this was so good to know.  Sam didn’t wait around, returning to her team.  “Option four,” she started, “dragons.”

Teal’c raised an eyebrow.  Daniel coughed.  “Dragons, Sam?”

“Yes!  You didn’t think we were the only ones hiding in these rocks, did you?”  Daniel’s head whipped around to the space behind him, which was empty except for the drugged colonel.  Sam tried not to laugh, turning it to enthusiasm for her plan instead.  “They’re the natural predator we were looking for.  I’ll bet they live in the rocks because they retain heat.”  She patted the stone wall.  “So all we need to do is draw them out, and the tribbles will go away!”

Daniel still looked skeptical.  “When you say dragons, do you mean Smaug or…Mushu?”

“Somewhere in between, but smaller than we are.  And far less numerous than the others.”  Her teammates didn’t look convinced.  “Look, I know it sounds absurd, but I think this is our best shot at getting out of here.”

Teal’c and Daniel looked at one another, then back at her.  “Explain your plan, Captain Carter.”

She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and nodded her thanks before launching into the plan.  It was simple, but if all went well, they’d have time to climb down the rocks with their additional burden, dial the gate, and get out before anything else took an interest in them. 

They were in agreement.  Daniel gathered what little gear they’d taken out, and Teal’c gathered the colonel, whose skin seemed less green than Sam remembered.  He even groaned a little when hoisted over Teal’c’s shoulders.  She hoped that was a good sign. 

SG-1 gathered at the shelter opening.  No change in the aliens’ status.  “Okay.  Teal’c, wait for my signal.  Daniel, on three.”  She needed the time to steel herself as much as coordinate with her teammate.  “One.  Two.  Three!” 

On cue, the two sprang – as best they could – out of the shelter.  Their stumbling boots made enough clatter to draw the aliens’ attention, and the pile began shaking again.  Sam didn’t care, raising her zat and aiming it at the nearby copse of trees.  “Fire!” she yelled out, doing so herself. 

She crossed mental fingers – prayed for a stiff breeze – didn’t realize she’d closed her eyes until Daniel’s voice came through: “It worked!”  Opening her eyes, she saw the tree branches in flames, small but being whipped into greater heights by the wind.  Already, the creatures were starting to move, but they hadn’t abandoned the gate and DHD.  That wasn’t Sam’s plan, anyway. 

Time for phase two.  She pressed herself against the rocks and motioned for Daniel to do the same before controlling her breathing and pounding heart to be as still as she could make them.  Come on…you know you want to…

They did.  First one, then a second, then a third dragon crawled out of various openings in the rocks around them and took flight, seeking the fire’s warmth.  Their translucent wings caught the wind and kept them out of the flames’ reach as they circled around. 

“Wyverns,” Daniel muttered absently as he watched, but Sam’s attention was elsewhere. 

The tribbles were retreating.

No time to celebrate – she tugged Daniel’s jacket sleeve.  “Let’s go.”  As quickly as they could, the two scrambled down the hillside, not bothering to hide their movement as the pack of furry aliens dispersed, many heading back towards the valley in which they’d first been discovered, but all heading away from the fire and the stargate.  The area was clear by the time they reached the ground. 

Daniel made a beeline for the DHD, while Sam turned back to the hill.  She tapped on her radio.  “All clear, Teal’c!”  She tried to keep an eye on his progress, slow with the colonel carefully balanced on his shoulders, as well as watching Daniel’s back and monitoring the dragons – wyverns, she reminded herself.  There was no guarantee they might not seek out larger prey when in numbers, which had grown to five. 

The stargate opened up with a kawoosh just as Teal’c reached the base of the hill.  To Sam’s surprise and relief, Teal’c crouched down, and O’Neill, of his own shaky power, swung his legs around and planted firm feet on the ground.  The two of them made their way to the DHD with Teal’c supporting the colonel only around his waist.

“Carter, are those…?” said the colonel on their arrival.  He was still sweating and looked pasty, but decidedly human-colored. 

“Wyverns, sir,” Sam replied. 

“Weren’t they smaller and…fuzzier before?”

“We’re good to go,” said Daniel. 

Sam smiled.  “I’ll explain it all on the other side, sir.  Now get through the gate.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Before Sam followed her team through the gate, she took one last look at the wyverns swirling and swooping around the flames.

Nobody back home was going to believe this one.

The Trouble With..., by Zorb (PG-13)

[identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com 2014-10-30 11:56 am (UTC)(link)
User [livejournal.com profile] figs_sg1_rec referenced to your post from The Trouble With..., by Zorb (PG-13) (http://figs-sg1-rec.livejournal.com/248183.html) saying: [...] action/adventure, humor Warnings: none Author on LJ: Author's Website: Link: The Trouble With... [...]
ext_1941: (humor)

[identity profile] sg-fignewton.livejournal.com 2014-10-30 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
I've had this fic on my to-rec list for way too long. I hope no idea if you're still part of the fandom, but I hope the very belated rec (http://stargateficrec.livejournal.com/2009103.html) puts a smile on your face, anyway. :)

[identity profile] draconin.livejournal.com 2014-10-30 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL You have a strange and twisted mind. :-) Congratulations!

[identity profile] dreamy-dragon73.livejournal.com 2014-10-30 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
This was fun!

Reading Frenzy Reboot - Part 11

[identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com 2014-10-31 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
User [livejournal.com profile] lightbird777 referenced to your post from Reading Frenzy Reboot - Part 11 (http://lightbird777.livejournal.com/178917.html) saying: [...] good. Note that there is also some detailed descriptions of medical procedures. The Trouble With... [...]